Some Weighty Issues...

Well my fellow readers, I am VERY VERY VERY mad. Any one want to know why? Well even if you don't let me enlighten you. I have just received a VERY insensitive email from my cousin's cousin who lives in Bangladesh. Before I copy the email on here, let me give you a little background:

About 3 years ago, on a trip to Bangladesh, I met him at a wedding. I thought he was nice and good looking. I guess he liked me also, so we had a nice little 'relationship' (ok its not what you think!!! We only talked on the phone a lot!) with intent to marry. After I came back to America, we emailed each other for a couple of weeks and then I never heard from him.

Back in September, he started emailing me again saying that his family did not approve of my 'young' age so he couldn't contact me all this time. But now that he has graduated from college/university, he is 'independent', has a job, and wants to continue to have a relationship with me.

So I said I would re-open the 'relationship' and take things VERY slowly and maybe give it another try. I gave him no hint that we were a couple or getting married. I only told him that he needed to rebuild my trust. So, after calling me sweety and princess a couple of times, apparently he thinks me has rebuilt my trust so he sent me this email today (skip the first paragraph unless you are really interested):

Subject: Life is Beautiful......

Content:

Dear shefa,

hope u r fine by the grace of allmighty.Its really a gr4 news tht u r going to study in maths.now about myself,i get 20,000tk per month from my current job,noe u consider whether its a big amount or not,to me its not a big amount.Now about my mom,yes she was sick now she is quite ok.nd ur having a wrong idea abt my mom tht she doesnt like u,but the true thing is she likes u,Now if i ask u tht i m really confused tht whether ur mom likes me or not?really i m confused nd sure abt this tht she does nt like me.nd i m sad as u.Now abt rumi yes sweet heart i dont knolw ne thing abt his girlfriends.nd i dont ask him abt this stuf.NOw abt the news u wanted to know,i really dont know that boys over here where takes their g.f for having sex.Now u got all ur answers mis world????

Now sweetti i m asking u some thing please dont take it other way,that is sweet heart cant u loose some of ur weight,please dont misunderstand me,ther is no problem with me abt u,i like u as u are,but there r my other family members nd in that case they might object me in this case so please dont take it other way,i think u r matured enough to understand my this problem,r nt u?

ok,so i guess its all for today.take good care of urself,nd pray tht u get all the happiness of ur life.

Nazim

Excuse me... but is this not insulting? Can I loose some weight? The last time I checked I wasn't 140 lbs or over. His family members, my extended family, might object to our 'marriage' (the supposed marriage) because I am not skinny enough? What happened to him being 'independent'? Plus, if he had no problem with it as he claims, he wouldn't have brought up the subject to begin with!

And Mr. Nazim, I have news for you... its not about my maturity... its about my FEELINGS and self worth. If I, being educated at the top schools in America, being a world traveler, coming from a very respected family (his extended family), am going to be dismissed by my weight, I do not want anything to do with him and his family. If he and his family cannot get past my looks (and I think I look decent... I'm not Aishwarya Rai but you can't call me ugly) and not at my personality and character, then they can go find a skinny Bangladeshi girl who can barely speak English and has never left the city of Dhaka! I think any female will agree with me on this one. It has nothing to do with maturity.

And one more thing! I just got back from the doctor's office with a clean bill of health. To quote the doctor herself, (after a thorough check-up of my body, including private areas...) I am a "perfectly healthy and normal girl". So if the doctor thinks I am healthy, I am going to listen to her and not to my extended shallow-hearted family in Bangladesh.

And by the way, he needs to learn how to spell and learn some basic grammar! I wouldn't be this harsh but apparently they did not teach him English at his 'American' university in Bangladesh. Besides, if he is planning on going to Australia to do his PhD., he needs to use spell check!

Men of the world: Learn from Nazim's mistake and NEVER comment on your wife/girlfriend/fiancé’s weight... unless you want to be single for the rest of your life.

Maybe all the women in Bangladesh will stand being trash talked to by the man in their life, but let me tell you, I am American and I will not stand any of that crap. I refuse to take any man's emotional baggage! If a man has a problem with me he can either get over it or move on. I don't need a man to make me happy and I will never need a man to make me happy. (But alas yes, men do tend to make me happy) I'm not in Bangladesh. I have my choices and options. I am educated (and am working on getting higher educated), religious, and I come from a respected family where money is never an issue. I'm not going to hang onto the first man that comes by because I have no options.

And does Mr. Nazim think he is the only one with demands? My demand in a husband is that he is very religious (something Mr. Nazim is not), born and raised in the west (US, Canada, UK, Europe, Australia) or have lived here in the west long enough to know the culture (something Mr. Nazim does not know), has good character (I don't think sending an email to a potential wife telling her to loose weight when she is clearly fine with herself counts as good character, morals, or judgment), and is well educated (ok fine... the only thing he qualifies for).

I'm still steaming and re-reading this to check for spelling mistakes is only getting me angrier.

A Few Hours Later:

This whole stupid weight thing has given me a new perspective on life.

1. Never even think of marrying a Bengali man again...
2. Never talk to Bengali men ever again... unless they are uncles or cousins that have no intention of marriage

I'm going to go drown myself in junk food (which I never eat... junk food only appeals to me in times of crisises) and season one of the tv show Sex and the City. Maybe watching other women's failed romance life will brighten my glum mood. Thanks to netflix for saving me just in time!

Lazy Mondays

You know what the best part about Mondays are? The fact that you can be lazy. Since I had tests in almost all my classes last Thursday and Friday, today in all my classes we were starting new stuff. That means I don't pay attention. Yipee!

Well I finished the Environmental Science project. It looks crappy... but the information is good. I just didn't have the drive to 'beautify' my poster with neon colors. Besides that is so middle school. Come on people... I'm ready for college!

As usual I emailed my Hi5 buddy another 3 page email. Actually today's was 2.5 pages so ha! It took me my entire World After 1945 class to write it, copy it in Word to check for spelling mistakes, copy it back, and send it. I would be a little offended if he sent me 3 sentence replies but he actually sends me 1 to 1.5 page emails back. Ahh a REAL man! We talk mostly about our experiences at hajj. As usual I get a little carried away and include details he probably could do without. Example: Friday's email included how my dad was born in India but moved to Bangladesh when he was 12 and how my mom was born in Bangladesh right after my grandfather moved from India. Today's email included a Pakistani woman snubbing me at hajj. (I included that for a reason I'll have you know. Since he is Pakistani I asked him why Pakistani's think us Bengali's or Bangladeshi's are worthless. )

I also emailed my cousin in Bangladesh asking him the joint question me, Nazia, and Kaiser have about young people in Bangladesh having sex all the time. Where do they do it? Obviously not in the streets. Bangladeshi people don't have cars like everyone here in America so not in the back seat of a car. Not in bedrooms cause their parents are probably home. So where? I am eagerly awaiting his answer.

Well I have to work at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital today after school. Fun fun... not.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. Yuck! I hope she doesn't stick that massive Q-tip up me again to check for 'diseases'.

Weekends

Ahh the weekends. Time to sleep, eat, watch tv, and be lazy. With unlimited cell phone minutes one would think that the weekend is heaven. Alas it is not so.

Time to sleep? Try sleeping when you have a very spoilt and demanding cat waking you up every 30 minutes every night because she wants to either go to the royal litter box or eat her royal lamb chops or turkey breast or salmon filet that I buy for her. Or queen kitty jumps on my bed and knocks my head off my pillow so her highness can stretch out on the royal pillow while the poor slave tries to find another comfortable position while wondering how many minutes she has before waking up and fulfilling another royal demand.

Royal Queen Shashy herself upon her throne (my bed)

Time to eat? Royal kitty's grandmother (my mother) refuses to cook on the weekends so I am stuck eating left-overs from Monday night. Yuck.

Time to watch tv? Well when I finally sit down in front of the tube, my mother just happens to find another chore for me to do. Yesterday it was folding the laundry. Last weekend it was vacuuming the whole house.

Be lazy? Read above.

Unlimited cell phone minutes. Why is it that everyone else is actually busy during the weekend? Why can they not stop to chat for a couple of hours?!

Well yesterday I woke up late. Had my piano lesson. (I'm playing Cannon In D... the really hard wedding song!). Then I cleaned my room, took a shower, read a book, read the Quraan, ate a couple of fish sticks, and watched a few scenes from The Mummy. Then my mom and I went to the mall to find a present for the anniversary party my parents are at right now. At the mall I bought some cute shoes! And another Kenneth Cole purse. Its red, leather, and adorable! My mom found the gift for her friend and we left the mall. On the way to CVS pharmacy, I convinced my mom to pull over at the Indian restaurant Shalimar, and we had dinner. I had lamb korma while my mom had tandoori chicken. Both were yummy! And since the restaurant is owned my dad's Pakistani friend the food was halal. The only problem is the prices. Everything is so expensive! The meal (with no drinks or chai or dessert) came to $35. But since the owner knew us he gave us a 50% discount. I felt bad, and since I was paying, paid $25 instead of the $15 the owner asked for. Come on, $35 was way too much, but $15? Paying that is embarrassing. Plus I left a tip so I think I was nice enough. When we left it was 9:30 pm and my mom and I went to CVS. While she sat in the car, talking to her cousin, I went in and bought the stuff she wanted. I also bought the latest Life & Style magazine, which I spent the rest of the night reading. I was fascinated by the break up of Katie and Tom (come on who didn't see that coming? I mean he's psycho!) and with the 7 reason Britney Spears's life is "Spiraling Out Of Control!!". Haha! Now she knows how it feels to not be super skinny!

Today, I woke up to my mom's yelling about my college. After eating some chicken I went up to my room to shower. I spent about 90 minutes talking on the phone instead. Then I showered and came downstairs and my parents are gone! They went to their party! Goody!

Well I am off to finish my environmental science project. Adios!

School In America

Its 1:50 pm and all my tests are over. Whew! What a relief! Unfortunately my netflix movies will not be coming in today or tommorrow so I am going to have a boring weekend. Maybe I will actually do some homework! Joy!

The principle of my school, Harpeth Hall, emailed us students today. She wanted to inform us about an event that will take place next Friday. If you don't know, Reese Witherspoon is a famous actress that graduated from my school in 1994. She is nominated for an Oscar. This is the announcement:

HARPETH HALL SCHOOL
DAILY ANNOUNCEMENTS
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2006

BIG NEWS!!

Pre-Oscar Pep Rally for Harpeth Hall Alum Reese Witherspoon

With the Oscars approaching, Harpeth Hall is hosting a Pre-Oscar Pep Rally at 2:40 p.m.THIS Friday, 3/3, on Souby Lawn, in front of the Carell Library.
We will all gather to cheer on one of our own, 1994 HH graduate Reese Witherspoon who is nominated for Best Actress for her performance in “Walk The Line.”

Show us your creative talents and school spirit with posters (Harpeth Hall Votes for Reese, Go Reese!) banners and cheering squads. In addition, participate in the “Movies By Reese” parade by dressing as characters from various Reese’s movies, including “Legally Blond,” “Walk the Line,” “Pleasantville,” and “Sweet Home Alabama.”

For treats, we’ll be serving Reese’s Pieces and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

Show your school spirit and bring out your cheers and smiles because Teen People Magazine will be photographing the event for its Oscars coverage.
And we expect local media to attend, too.

Ridiculous isnt it? And we wonder why America's education system sucks!

Other news: I wrote the world's longest email to a person I don't know today. The person is a muslim male that lives in the UK. He emailed me on my Hi5 profile asking me about my experience at hajj. He also went to hajj this year. So I emailed him a (get this!) 3 page email. I copied and pasted it onto Microsoft Office Word to spell check it (there is no spell check on the messaging thing on Hi5) and yes... it was 3 pages long. Size 10 font. Wierd I know!

I left school at 7:00 pm yesterday. The reason is that I spent the afternoon watching Ashoka with two of my friends. This is the fourth time I have watched it (its one of my top 5 favorite movies) and I cried again. Today we are staying after school to watch Devdas. Another favorite of mine. Looks like I am going to cry again.

Anyways, maybe I should stop writing in this blog and actually pay attention in my World After 1945 class...

How Do I Actually Get Through Each Day?

How do I actually get through each day? That is the question I keep asking myself. Its amazing. I mean despite my 'suicide' attempt in the 5th grade (my little cousin wouldn't let me watch MTV because he wanted to watch Cartoon Network so I swallowed a whole bottle of pills... later to realize that they were Vitamin C pills. Needless to say my immune system was so strong because of my suicide attempt that I didn't get sick for a whole year!) I haven't done any damage to myself. Yet my life still goes on.

I don't understand all this hype about Facebook. I mean I've been on it once to see what all the fuss was about and to make my profile but I haven't been on it since... about... December.

My dad still wants me to stay in the dorm at Memphis... even though I have found fabulous ones close by. Here are the perks:

1. Tight security (a MUST for both me and my dad)
2. Close to the university... approximately 5 miles
3. Maid service
4. Cabana boys (yum!)
5. Concierge service (oh yeah baby!!)

Yet my dad still is not convinced. No its not the $900 per month he has to dish out that is bothering him. Its the fact that I have to drive 7 minutes each day to go to class. He is worried that someone will crash into me. Puuhlease! Anyways, when we go to Memphis next month we are going to go look at the different complexes I have chosen. I already made appointments with them.

Well I have a test in 2 hours in my World After 1945 class. Its on the independence of Germany, Italy, Greece, India/Pakistan, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam, and Japan. I have 16 pages of notes in size 7 font. Yuck! So far I only know Germany, Italy, Greece, India/Pak, and Japan. Oh I also need to know stuff on the Cold War and WWII. YUCK! Anyways, gotta go study!

Oh p.s., Some of you were asking me for my old blog. Its on my website, www.geocities.com/sweetti825

Baby Steps

Well it looks like my mom is taking teeny tiny baby steps in accepting that I didn't get into Vanderbilt and that I'm going to the University of Memphis. Now when she finds that I did something wrong, she no longer says, "Thats why you didn't get into Vanderbilt!". (Example: My room is 'messy' so thats the reason I did not get in). She now says, "How do you expect to live by yourself in Memphis?". sigh...

My parents went out last night to these people's house whose sister died (a.k.a. murdered) . They came home at 1:00 am so I had a nice parent-free night. However, drama always follows me. I had a nice 'brush -in' with some 'pictures' on a person's cell phone. Geez... my life is never slow. I wish it would be, because all this stress is killing me!

I have tests tommorrow and Friday so I will be busy studying.

Frustrated Tuesday...

Today has gone by normal. School has sucked as usual. My mom is being a grouch as usual. She still can't get over the fact that I did not get into Vanderbilt. She refuses to let me go to college any where else. She wants to send me to boot camp (a.k.a the MADRASA). Anyways, it looks like I am going to the University of Memphis. Although my mom claims she will move to Buffalo, NY to the madrasa if I go and she wants my dad to MOVE WITH ME to Memphis! At first I was banking on having my own apartment in Memphis, but after the madrasa scare, I am willing to stay in the dorm. My mom is convinced that if I go to college one or more of the following things will happen:

1. I will get pregnant
2. I will do drugs
3. I will become an alcoholic
4. I will bring home a boyfriend or husband
5. I will miss class
6. I will get straight F's
7. I will become MORE 'corrupted' and party all the time and wear inappropriate clothes

All of the accusations are stupid. I could do all of them NOW but I chose not to. She thinks she prevents me from doing them but does she not realize that if I wanted to do all of those things I could do them now? I have NO interest in drugs or alcohol or partying. I am so frustrated. I don't know what to do with my situation at home. sigh.....

Another Lame Sunday...

So another lame Sunday goes by. As usual, I woke up around 12:15 pm. And as usual, I was woken up by a phone call. After lying in bed contemplating the sudden turn of events in my life I actually got out of bed at 1:30. After going downstairs, I started making lunch. Thats when I got in the five millionth fight with my mother about my 'future'. So I stormed up the stairs, went back in my room, and sobbed my heart out to my cousin over the phone. He just sat there in stunned silence as I sobbed. I don't think he has ever heard a girl seriously crying before so he was shocked at my hysteria. After my pity party, I ate lunch and took a shower. Now I am about to do some school work. Maybe I will have time to watch the movie that came in from Netflix last Tuesday. Its Miss Congeneality 2.